today i had an email waiting for me in my inbox from AARP.

what exactly is up with that?

ok, maybe i do like to wear a sweater around the house. alot. and maybe there is a wad of tissues in the pocket. (yes, always clean) perhaps i do forgo the spiked heels and slip on a pair of flats a little more than i used to. there might be a classical cd or two in my car right now... and yes. i have caught myself calling my husband Dad instead of something less paternal. i do go out to get the mail in my jammies and slippers sometimes. (now there's a fetching look yes?) but in my defense, i live in the country on 3 acres so it's not like a buncha people see me. i'd be lying if i said that more often than not, i prefer soup and a salad to a 'real' dinner. ok, maybe sometimes i'm eating dinner before the sun goes down, but hell, any good machine runs better if you don't let the fuel tank run low, am i right? lately, i have been going to bed before my fifteen year old daughter...

ok. nevermind.

but wait. isnt' the legal age of senior citizens supposed to be 60 or something? even @ 55 they are way off here. the rise of my jeans is still way above my undies. i still wear make up and do my hair girlie when i leave the house. my teeth are all my own, and let's just say, my friend martha still visits me just like clockwork every stinking goddamn month whether i invite her miserable ass or not!

sigh... sorry. went off on a small tangent there. now where was i?

why can't i remember? where are my glasses?

i'm going to take my ginko now...

**editor note: today i received SNAIL MAIL from AARP!!!! aaarrrgh